Am I crazy or is this normal? Wife is always on the phone and goes out everynight?

We have been married for almost 10 years now been together for 13 with 2 kids. Wife is 31 and I am 34 in the military. She has most recently started going out every night and staying out till like 530 or even after we wake up. When shes at home shes always on the phone and she and I rarely even talk like we used to before. We have had our rough times and even infidelity on both sides but have went to counseling (nolonger going) and forgave each other. I don't ever spend alone time with her cause shes always gone or on the phone texting or talking to friends. I feel jealous because her friends no more about her and spend more time with her then I do .I do not go out and I fulfill all my resposibilties to our family and to her. She is a stay at home mom but spend all day either at her friends house , driving her friends around, at home sleeping or on the phone with the same friends. More recently she started to not answer my phone calls or text and will reply a couple hours later, however when shes at home she answers all her friends calls and text promptly. She says its her new phone that doesn't recieve calls some times.She got her own line a month ago. She took a trip with her mom to Thailand and came back wanting to learn more about Buddhism because they live everyday to make themselves happy and in turn everything around them will be happy, is what she says. So I asked her if I can go out with her a couple of nights and she said no. I do not think she is cheating on me but I think she spend an excessive amount of time with her friends. We are complete opposites and before it never bothered her and we could talk on the phone or hang out together for hours just like the way shes doing it with her friends. I asked er for a divorce as a way to let her know I'm serious about my problems and she just say go right ahead without any reservations. I go through the motions and then I talk to her saing that divorce would tear up our family and if we could work on our marriage. She has agreed to go back to counseling but how do I bring up the cellphone issue and the going out? She has always gone out but not on this level and she hasn't stayed out as late as she know does. I cannot reach her when shes out 8-9 times out of 10. Most of the time when she leaves the house she ends up just hanging out at her freinds apartment which they have 2 female freinds/roommates and a gay roommate/friend. I am currently going to therapy for my recently discovered condition of Codependency which I found out when all these issues stated happening I went to therapy and found out. I feel I'm just here for the kids and a security blanket /Stabililty for her. She gets her cake and eats it too, she can have the stability of a married life with the fun of a single life and no responsiblity to her husband. I asked her to stop going out as much and not on the phone as much but she says I'm controlling, I told her its certain boundries and tings you do and can't do when youre in a relationship. Sorry for the long post but theres more juicy stuff if I brought up the past but for right now just looking for advice and no I do not want to divorce or seperate from her , I want to fix our marriage and see if it could be a midlife crisis of sorts and will p with time. Oh I am always stuck at home with the kids and her mom also lives with us.Thanks for your attention